\\Too hard to get up and still knowing... That beauty comes out of pain\\

Wednesday, June 11th, 2003

Time:	7:53 pm.
Mood:	happy.

( Sun showers make me happy. )

2 Let it Bleed ~ Let yourself get Hit

Friday, June 6th, 2003

Time:

5:17 pm.

( Random photos. )

8 Let it Bleed ~ Let yourself get Hit

Time:

4:41 pm.

Attemp number two.
I stood there, over my desk
vision blured
it was like looking into a river...
You can see what's at the bottom, but it's never clear.
I stood there, over my desk
Covered in my emotions
In my anger, fear, and sorrow.
rummaging through my draw.
looking for my the left over pills from attempt number one.
Searching for my saviors.
My saviors, my lovers.
The knives I call happiness, the pills i call home.
home is where the heart is...
Right.
Well, my home is in my stomach now.
I will be home soon.
I hope, I can only hope.
My family is my mmusic and my friends are my art.
Everything I will ever need is in this little draw.
My happiness, my home, my family, and my friends.
My knives, my pills, my CDs, and my paints.
And right now, I'm pretty close to home, for it is now in my blood, running through my veins and almost at my heart.
I'm almost home.
Almost out of this horrible place.
Almost happy.
Almost alive.

4 Let it Bleed ~ Let yourself get Hit

Monday, May 26th, 2003

Subject:	tisk tisk
Time:	4:57 pm.

( You know you want my hot sex! )

10 Let it Bleed ~ Let yourself get Hit

Monday, April 21st, 2003

Subject:	The taste of pain.
Time:	3:09 pm.

Titled: Love

2 Let it Bleed ~ Let yourself get Hit

Wednesday, April 16th, 2003

Subject:	I taste my skin.
Time:	5:12 pm.
Mood:	artistic.

( Read more... )

8 Let it Bleed ~ Let yourself get Hit

Saturday, April 5th, 2003

Time:	5:05 pm.
Mood:	sleepy.

When you're not here...
My body starts to shake
And I begin to fade away.

1 Let it Bleed ~ Let yourself get Hit

Friday, April 4th, 2003

Subject:	photos.
Time:	10:08 pm.
Mood:	bored.

( Try not to get bored of my face )

4 Let it Bleed ~ Let yourself get Hit

Sunday, March 23rd, 2003

Time:

9:54 pm.

I have a bleeding vagina.
:(

7 Let it Bleed ~ Let yourself get Hit

Saturday, March 22nd, 2003

Subject:	untitled
Time:	4:38 pm.
Mood:	waiting.

You're beautiful.
You're smile...
You're style.
You make me laugh.
Make my smile.
You see my tears.
Hold me down...
I can't bare it anymore.
I'm in love with a girl...
Looking forward to your face.
Your voice...
Your arm rapped around mine.
Our hand together.
We'll be fine.
You make my laugh...
You make me smile.
You've seen my tears and wiped them away.
Hugged me..
Said it's all right
The only person I have right now.
I take you in my arms...
hold you as tight as I can.
I don't care what they say.
I need you.
The way you play with my hair.
hold my hand.
Grab my arm.
Speak to me.
You're perfect.
I need you.

Let yourself get Hit

Subject:	I got bored.
Time:	4:25 pm.
Mood:	cramps.

3 Let it Bleed ~ Let yourself get Hit

Friday, March 21st, 2003

Time:	9:57 pm.
Mood:	bored.

( Me )

4 Let it Bleed ~ Let yourself get Hit

Wednesday, March 19th, 2003

Time:	1:42 am.
Mood:	okay.

I haven't written anything in so long.
I need to.
Corey says that as soon as the zen den starts back up with the new owner...
She's gonna start soul kitchen up again...
With open mic so that I could read my stuff.
Corey really wants me to read and I don't think I'm good enough.
We'll see... I'm so shy.

I neeeeeeeeed batteries for my camera!!!!!
I hate not being able to take pictures.
It's gettin nice out...
I wanna take pictures.
As soon as i get my batteries...
I'll be posting more of my photography.
Okay..
And my writing...
I hope.
hehe

Good night!

1 Let it Bleed ~ Let yourself get Hit

Tuesday, March 18th, 2003

Time:

5:08 pm.

Slip in between me.
Close your eyes.
You try to hide inside me.
But I can feel your every move.

1 Let it Bleed ~ Let yourself get Hit

Sunday, March 16th, 2003

Time:	4:46 pm.
Mood:	accomplished.

I re-did my journal.
And I made a new icon.
I love fetish photography so much.
[xo]

1 Let it Bleed ~ Let yourself get Hit

Subject:	My artwork
Time:	3:35 pm.
Mood:	okay.

The fight up close.

The fight farther away.

The fight at a different angle.

The fight and WithOut you.

WithOut you.

2 Let it Bleed ~ Let yourself get Hit

Saturday, March 15th, 2003

Time:

5:40 pm.

"The difference between a madman and me, is that I am not mad."- ( Salvador Dali )

Let yourself get Hit

Friday, February 21st, 2003

Time:	1:22 am.
Mood:	worried.

will my tears that fall for you make you come?

2 Let it Bleed ~ Let yourself get Hit

Friday, February 14th, 2003

Subject:	not quite finished
Time:	6:55 pm.
Mood:	calm.

the soup that once burned my tongue is cold.
i am cold.
i am dead...
looking at pictures of you.
alone...
in my room of shadows.
hiding in the corner...
under my blanket.
the blanket you once held me in.
the pictures i took of you.
in my hands.
these hands that shake.
this body that trembles.
its cold.
im cold...
where are you?
where are your hands..
your body to keep me warm.
keep me alive through these winter nights.
your jokes that keep me smiling... even when im sad.
where did you go?
i need you...
im in this room, alone...
with tears rolling down those soft white cheek that you once had kissed so gentle.
you told me forever...
i guess forever has passed.
i miss the way you pull me close to you at night.
i miss your laugh.
is this it?
gone? goodbye? why?
what did i do?
i will try again.. different.
anything.
i need you.
i thought you needed me too.
you told me!...
i guess you lied.
i guess when this soup burned my tongue...
you burned me too.

1 Let it Bleed ~ Let yourself get Hit

Monday, February 10th, 2003

Subject:	In the dark...
Time:	5:55 pm.
Mood:	in awe..

( we become one... all together we can cover the world with beauty. )

3 Let it Bleed ~ Let yourself get Hit